I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
