Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
