Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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