where am i from again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just gift wrapped bread.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
