first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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