Umm I'm too high to move.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
