we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
