That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
