3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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