You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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