if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
