I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
