Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
