i don't like sucking hair
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You left your phone here
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