Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize