I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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