Where did you get a picture of my penis
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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