ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
