READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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