Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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