put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
