that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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