We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
