there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
