Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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