I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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