I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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