My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize