idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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