What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
