My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
