Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
