Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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