one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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