Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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