Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need moral support for this bender
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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