Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
