$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
