woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
