The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
