well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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