dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
