Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
