just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
