Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
