I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
