we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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