Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
cat food counts as protein by the way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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