I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
