somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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