Plan B is the new Plan A
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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