Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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