Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize