look no pants
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
is it fun? or sober?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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