i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
