Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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