Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
