U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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